 ptimal sexual health is more than mere physiological
functioning It includes a positive view of one's sexual
history, one's desires and behaviour as well as confidence
in one's ability to derive adequate and appropriate pleasure
from sex. Although sexuality is basic to every human
being, not everyone experiences maximum sexual well-being.
The therapeutic goals of people working on sexual issues
vary widely. Some may wish to come to terms with their
sexual past, resolving the trauma of childhood abuse
or forced sex as an adult. Others may be burdened by
guilt over having committed sexual acts which had negative
consequences for themselves or others. For some people,
the thought of engaging in sex brings up feelings of
anxiety which make it difficult to enjoy themselves and
be intimate with partners.
Others may be uncertain of their
sexual orientation or experiencing conflict about what
they know are their true desires. ‘Coming-out' issues
may lead people to question long-held assumptions about
themselves and how they live.
As our society becomes more and
more sexualised, sex is continuously available in one
form or another. This creates difficulties for an increasing
number of people who find themselves engaging in sex
compulsively, either with paid companions, strangers,
themselves or via on-line pornography and webcams.
The term ‘sexual compulsivity'
is applied when one is sexual more often than one would
like to be, or engages in kinds of sexual behaviour one
would rather not, or whenever there is lack of congruence
between one's sexual life and one's self-image or principles.
It can be confusing to choose amongst all the options
available for contemporary sexual self-expression. Is
one drawn to bondage and discipline, to sado-masochistic
activity, to polyamory, to swinging, to fetishes of various
kinds? How does one make decisions balancing sexual freedom
with self-care in non-traditional behaviours?
Since 1985, I have met with individuals working on some
aspect of their sexuality with the result of increased
comfort and a greater sense of self-mastery and satisfaction
in their sexual lives. |
